damaged.

I had never meant to love him.
One thing i truly knew -- knew it in the pit of my stomach, in the core of my bones, knew it in the crown of my head to to the soles of my feet, knew it deep in my empty chest ;
was how love gave someone the power to break you.

& I'd been broken beyond repair.

But i needed him now, needed him like a drug. I'd used him as a crutch for far too long, and I was in deeper than I'd planned to go with anyone again. Now I couldn't bear for him to be hurt, and I couldn't keep from hurting him either. He thought time and patience would change me, and, though I knew he was dead wrong, I also knew that I would let him try.
Again.

He was my best friend. & I would always love him, and that would never, ever be enough.

Labels: this love;