damaged.

I had never meant to love him.
One thing i truly knew -- knew it in the pit of my stomach, in the core of my bones, knew it in the crown of my head to to the soles of my feet, knew it deep in my empty chest ;
was how love gave someone the power to break you.

& I'd been broken beyond repair.

But i needed him now, needed him like a drug. I'd used him as a crutch for far too long, and I was in deeper than I'd planned to go with anyone again. Now I couldn't bear for him to be hurt, and I couldn't keep from hurting him either. He thought time and patience would change me, and, though I knew he was dead wrong, I also knew that I would let him try.
Again.

He was my best friend. & I would always love him, and that would never, ever be enough.

Labels: this love;

teddy.

ho ho ho.

you.

i'll remember the times when ;

- i first met you. and were trying so hard to hide our grins.
- those times you'll be under my block and try to apologise.
- leaving chocolates at my doorstep.
- staying up till 3 or 4 in the morning, talking about nothing at all in particular.
- those times when we'd bump into your friends and you'll tell them that i'm your girl.
- those times when you'd hold me tight telling me that you'll never wanna leave me.
- those times when you'd make me stay awake all night thinkin bout us.
- those times i'd hang with you and your friends.

- those times when you'd make me cry.
- those times when we'd yell at each other trying to figure out why we're fighting in the first place.
- those times you'd leave me so flustered and dumbfounded.
- the times when i'll cry on the phone wit you and i'll pretend im happy and laughing.
- the times when you tell me you'll never ever break my heart.
- the times when you did it again and again.
- the time when i just couldnt trust you anymore.
- the time when i just couldnt take it any longer.

i knew better ; cause you said forever
and ever, who knew ?

Labels: this love;

anger management.

heyho world.

its about 10.13 in the morning. just woke up and checked my phone. -_________-" iqah's at home, dad woring, mum's taking half a day. shit. haha. so anyway.

yesterday woke up, stayed home all day, but around 6 when iqah came home she asked me if i wanted to follow her and elfi go raffles cos she wanna find bag. so yeah, i did. came home around 9.30 and she didnt buy a schoolbag. -.-" hahaha. but anyway, it was elfi's 17th birthday yesterday, so i wished him and gave him ciggs. haha. (:

yesterday mimi said he was gonna go khai's house to highlight his hair, so i waited up for him till a bout 5am. no sign of him. i thought to kill time, there was troy showing on tv, so i got out of bed and realised it was so quiet and dark outside, and then i just hopped into bed again. haha. scaredy mee. (: but now, in the morning, i seriously wished i had watched cos i miss brad pitt. hahahahahahha. kidding.

ouh and mimi said he tried to call but he couldnt get through. okaaaay.
i guess i was really harsh and got carried away during yesterday's fight. it was my fault and im so sorry kay? love you.

Labels: this love;

awake.

heyyy world.

i stayed home all day today. wow. i think i'm having a fever coming. anyway. its 2.52 am in the morning and here i am. mimi's far away in lalaland now. grr.

iqah's still not back yet, but i doubt i'll be awake by the time she gets back. well. i just changed my blogskin, and looking for a picture, i stumbled upon this.

Labels: this love;

I GOT MY PHONE BACK. !!!!!
yahooooo.
:DD

anyway. yes. hello world.

had breakfast with mimi, went school buy uniform, went afghan alter skirt, then go home. then went bugis bought sandals exactly like siti. jiwer. (:
then went century, i got my phone. then dudok at reading corner, mimi me khai and babat.
im lazy to type alot.
mimi made me cry again today. he must be rejoicing.
im getting pissed easily.
must be early signs of pms.
grrrr.

mimi's going to malaysia today. until friday. gonna miss him. okay my post is done.


see the extensions?

boley buat misai oii !

[:

[:

the cat which saved the day. (:

Labels: this love;

grrrrrrrrumbles.

morning world !

yeapps, im up early today. gonna have breakfast wit mimi and then go buy school uniform. HA HA. let's just hope they still have it. lol.

i realise these few days i've been crying myself to sleep. cant figure out particularly why, but there are just so many things on my mind. i try to be positive and all but sometimes it just doesnt work. damnit.

anyway. mimi goina balek kampong today. that why lah. the last supper breakfast. hahahaha. but hell yeah im gonna miss him like shit. and the best thing kan, when he comes back on friday, im going desaru on saturday all the way until monday. boo kan.

oh shit ! its already ten. sorry folks. since i dont like to wait, i shall not keep people waiting. haha. and oh ! i love my blog song ! :D

Labels: this love;

blearrrrgghhh.

hello world.

bad news. my handphone is sent for sevicing. the camera failed. BOOO. can you imagine three to four days without a phone? so anyway i am now using mimi's phone. budget but still useful. (:

oh yes. before you ask, i settled things with him just now. im just kinda relieved that things are back to normal. i guess.

so anywayyy. back to the story. so, i will try my best to stay alive without my 3 megapixel camera by my side. i would appreciate condolences to me. ):
till then. toodles yawww. (:

Labels: this love;

damn you.

brrrrrrraaaaah.

grettings, folks.
yikes, its been long since i updated. hehee. sorry yeah.

well anyway. these days been busy lah kan. work, then go out, then go out. gagagaga. at least still have time for importanat people in my life. haha. and yeah. been spending more time with siti nowadays ever since holidays started. well, i guess its true when they say friends are always there when you need them.
so thanks yeah, siti. :]]


woooooh. the one i count on.

oh yeah, i would like to protest against boys and their psps.
one day i will hide that thing in me. [x
or maybe in my undergarments. lawl.


as you can see. -.-"

oh yesss. before signing off, i would like to say ;

happy two months, babyboy.

i swear i've never felt this way to anyone else before. maybe it's cause you don't hide who you are in front of me, or whatever. but one thing's for sure, i love you more than you ever imagine. (:

cause all i can do is give, give, give ;
until there's nothing else.
and i'll have no regrets,
i'll give until there's nothing left to give.

chiowws, peeps. [[:

Labels: this love;

:'(

boy-friend.

heyheyhey world.


firstly, IM SORRY PAUL. i'll explain when i meet you. soon.

okay. hello ! yesyes. today was tiring. after work met mimi and went to pasir ris park. only on the way home, i felt like taking snapshots. lol.
and oh, that last part when you 'proposed' haha.
anyway. i had fun. (:




candid. sorry.


okay anyway, on saturday i was lazy to post pictures of the wedding. haha. went to mum's cousin's wedding. and so met the kids again ! wahahaha. so cute.


dayana balqis & fitriena.

me and dameera nadrah. awww.

oh well, the kids love me ! :D

and so today, after meeting mimi went home and was gonna meet mama but tak jadi so i met iqah and elfi at starbucks & sit around. then went to street 11 for an injection ! yay. i love needles. weird kan. and so after that met mum dad and nana. then go eat, then sent elfi home. then went home watch HEROES ! nyehehe. okay thats all. toodles.

marvellous mambo ; [x

Labels: this love;

[:

hey folks.

saturday and sunday go jalan rayerr with primary school friends. ohh. it felt good to see them after a long time. all so differnt now, but still the same in some ways lah. although im not the biggest fan of going rayer with friends, i decided to come along this time. hehehe.







okay enough.
tata.


*~ cause if your love was all i had in this life,
well that would be enough until the end of time
so rest your heart and relax your mind
cause im gonna love you boy,
until the end of time. ~*

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