I'll take my leave.
I feel like just telling you.
I feel like just spilling everything out but I don't intend to accidentally hurt anyone either.
It's not that you're just an alternative,
because I never thought we'd share someting like this.

But there's just a huge problem.


Cause the thing is, he came back.



And no matter how much I try to shove this one off, it's never gonna work.
This time round, I'm fighting for what I truly want.
Because they say,

" Never give up on something you can't go a day without thinking about. "


And I thank you for creating new memories, although maybe short, yeah. They'll be something to look back on and smile.


& I apologise for bothering.

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I'm outta time.
Hey world.


Thank God it's Friday ? Haha, nope, doesn't really make much of a difference. I still am rushing for time. Anyway. Today Paul came home. I met him after school and we had dinner, and I got a hot pink diamond banana barbell. But .. the top screw rolled down the sinkhole, hahahaha. So yeah, it's partially silver and pink. But whatever, moving on.

I find it so depressing that I feel this way each day. Dragging myself out of bed each day, not even worrying if I'm late for school, struggling to keep my mind off other things in class, dreading to see unwanted faces, and on top of that.. Everything else. Haha.

But ! What the heck, fuck it. Anyway. On err, Wednesday everning after school I met Lenny love and we went to eat at spontaneously did our hair. Went for treatment and our heads were in the puffy silver smoky thing haha so funny. I cut my fringe a bit and I think I look like a nerd but I like it. Haha.

And today, that Zulfadli introduced me to Chuck Norris and the whole clan was telling Chuck Norris jokes the whole afternoon all the way and I laughed hysterically at each and every one of them reguardless the number of times being told. I'm telling you, you people better google is and laugh your asses off. Huaahuaaahuaaa Chuck Norris is the MAN I tell you.

So yeah. Currently listening to random acoustic songs, realising that my iPod needs new tunes. Okay. School again tomorrow. Tired. Tired. Goodnight !

With love.
xoxoxo

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Isolation.
Hey world.

School's officially a dread. Especially recess time.. Sigh. As of today, it's 4 more months left to the first written paper for O levels.

...

And I just want to get it over and done with.


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Broken strings.
Hey world.

Past few days. I miss Siti. To everyone, sorry for the no replies, or the unanswered calls. I'm never gonna be the same again. My brain's in overdrive.










How much you mean to me.

I am willing to go through whatever. As much as I know it's gonna be painful, and as much as I don't want to go through it, I will have to eventually. Because this love I have for you, it's meant to be tested. So each time, I'm gonna prove it.

I'm ready to run into the fire, knowing that I'd be the casualty, but it's okay, because at least it can make you see that all I wanna do is love you, make you happy, help you through whatever. Everyone loves you baby, they know you can be counted on. Don't take things too hard on yourslef, you deserve better than you know it.

Because I've said since that day, since the day you became The One.

; I am in love with you Zurikh , so Come What May.

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emotion unkown.
hey world.

just got back from school. today did my artefact again. coulur scheme changed, green and yellow polkadots instead. after school slacked around with melvin and friends. woo. after that went to clinic, then home. here i am rotting and finding stuff to do before starting on my heroes marathon again. yahooo. okayokay so i dont think i'll be going anywhere today.

yesterday at geylang with mairah's family me and her did henna. we did the same pattern and it looks awesomeeee. weehee. its like dark, which is good. and haha im fascinated with the precision of each dot. hahaha. okay so tmr i got school again. and omg, it started raining. lovely weatherrrr.
hmm. fifi said siti's in johor with her mum. i miss you pantat ! movie marathon again soon. [:

okay, im done for now. toodles noodles.

should've known you'd bring me heartache.

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home alone.
hey world.

like omg, donkey kong years have passed again. ahaha sorry. so anyway. here's updates. and picturessss ! woo.


pretty macie. (:



okay so on friday. had cross country, was sports official. duh, as if i want to run. haha. then i went home and rot. mum didnt let me go to baybeats for some unidentified explanation so i stayed home. in the afternoon i dropped by the dudes skating for a little while with siti though. took pictures, smoke, talk, bla bla bla. went home. got a mega headache cos i think i smoked too much in 2 hours. -.-" and the rest of the family didnt come back until about 11 so i didnt get the point why i couldnt go to baybeats anw. -.-"

but anyway. ate dinner, helped iqah make the cheesecake and then went to sleep. the next day woke up and showered, got dressed for the family outing. cousin fetched. went to johor, yippee. celerated along's birthday by having a mega huge dinner. haha, ate until i was like damn full. best. after dinner all cousin sent us home, while all the parents stayed over in the hotel. haha. woo. ~








had a lazy boring sunday. met fyzie. had breakfast, jalan-jalan. slacked. haha, went home around 4. stayed at home did nothing, at night then went 800+ go big bookshop. woo bought new book. haha okayy.

mondayyyyy. woke up for sahur, then sleep again. ahaha. woke up again, showered and got dressed for school. did d&t. spray painted my lizard orange ! woooo ! and its gonna have pink and yellow polkadots. yeah mann. after school crashed sitibaybee's place ! woo i missed her. watched 'the love guru' with the sisters, the watched 'princess hours' then we reanted 'the leap years'. haha love guru was awesomely funny shit. BLOWME. hahhaha. leap years was uber nice ans touching just that. come on la, no way its gonna happen in real life right ? -.-"
so anw. today is like a lazy tueday morning. the rain is niceee. gonna get dressed now and meet cousin. after that meet mummy then meet another cousin. yes yes i am kinda happy its fasting month. woo.
toodles noodles !

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lifeless.
hey world.

like omg, days of not updating. honestly, school seems to be sucking the life out of me, moreover with the stress and annoyance i get from dumb guys, stupid individuals, and family shits. gahhh, i need a break but common tests are only a week away. *squeeeeals.

i tell myself i should study like, seriously and push out all the dumbshits that take up my time and also energy, not to talk about money. goddd. i've been easily broke lately. thanks to no more monthly allowance ever since mum found my cigarette case, but whatever. i still buy it whenever i do have money. i havent kicked the habit yet, and it dawned on me, cos instead i've gotten heavier. -.-" sighs.

but whatever it is, i gotta swear when i say that i have actually spent time revising on subjects and actually listen in class. heck, i may not always complete my countless assignments but at least i know what the fuck is going on, right. haha. so anyway, im disappointed with zul like big time. he left again today when we were in the middle of doing d&t. i think im immune to him. -.-" i swear i think his hobbies include cracking up harsh 'jokes', and disappointing people. a huge whatever to you.

faatin has alwyas been there for me on those times i can't get a hold of anyone else, and i gotta thank her for listening to my crap and giving me sane advice. haha. i gotta hand it to you if i ever get over him, okay. love yaaaa.

i've been seeing more of lenny and fadhilah lately and i gotta say i love their company. they gimme a sense warmth knowing that they're there for me no matter what i do, and they know i do for them too. woo, i love you guys.

sitibaybee, what can i say. i see you almost everyday, i wonder how im ever gonna go a day without your singing ringing in my head, haha. laugh together, cry together. lovelovelove you.

omgomgomg, i gotta meet paul one of these days and cook him macandcheese. haha.

okay so i feel like going on a rollercoaster ride with my eyes closed.
or bungee jumping off the highest cliff.
anyone wanna join me ?

toodles noodles.

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forget it.
hey worlddd.

firtsly, yesterday was such a nice date. i want to get married on that date day seh. like cool sey all 08. lol anyway. happy national day, singapore. haha. okay here's some updatesss.

on wednesday, in the evening met up with fad and lenny lovergirlss ku at whitesands, and headed to lenny's house and soon after attemped to study downsairs. but of course you know what happens instead. haha. anw while they were eating at her house i played with aqil !

CUTE SIAAAA.
so anyway. on thursday school was fine, did d&t in the afternoon and at night went to lepak with the usual. met aepul first, then mokrep, frendy and khai came. i did my homework, then laughed along at their jokes. bla bla bla. ohh and helped video khai and aepul tectonic-ing around. lol. aepul's little cousin so funny sia. hahahahha. walked to northpark bustop with khai, went home around 10+ i think. home, changed. raining so heavily, so niceeeeeeee. zzz !


so anway, friday was great. national day celebrations in school, performances in the hall, free curry puff. hahah. went to the denist again, then went home. accidentaly left my pohone at home. reached home. went online. few minutes later, changed. saw iman in some random bus, haha. took 27 to meet faisal at sengkang. then walked to siti's block while he rested his elbow on my shoulder siaaa. evil tall person.

he left, i crashed siti's place. mira and tinah was there. did stupid things lah as usual. laugh around, woo. sarah came eventually and we went to eat macs. went back to siti's house, watched videos, virtual barber shopppp. cool shit siaa. haha. reached home at 6.30. woo.

im like sooo perangai orang gemok, ate macs in the late afternoon, then reached home mum nought pizza hut. shit ! haha. ate and ate. watched the olympics opening thingy, fell asleep until morning sia !!! HA HA HA HA HA HA. just now morning went to follow takeaway breakfast at mukmin, saw mimi's parents. here i am now, at home after eating. haha.

so later following mama papa to wedding nearby, then around 4 or 5+ meeting sitibaybee and fireworks-ing. WOO ! meeting all the other lovers there. nyehnyehnyeh.
toodles noodles !

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cheesecake.
i'm a fat ass and i think one day i'll die of laughing too much.
i think i don't care about what people gotta say about me anymore.
i think some people are hilariously weird.
i think i'm disintegrating.
fast.
i miss you.
but it seems like you don't care.
did you ever ?

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mummy [:
hey world.

HAPPY 36th BIRTHDAY to MUMMY DEAREST !
wooooo !

so anyway, late post. mum 's birthday was on wednesday. even though the day before i had made me angry, i apologised and we're okay now. woo. so on wednesday i came home late due to d&t and so at night went to east coast to book a chalet for this weekend and then had dinner at the east coast food center there. went home, jammie helped fed-ex the cake she and iqah made. a cheesecake ! woo. so we ate it at home, too bad though i didnt get a pic of it.

haha random. after the cake. ^^
at singapore flyers last month. ^^
a random pic quite long ago. ^^

okay soo. today school was fine. did a re-test for physics though i doubt i'll pass this time cause i didnt study for it. grr. but anyway. after that did d&t again. i love d&t sia. makes me high. anyway. im tired and hungry now. gonna shower and eat ! nyahahha. toodles noodles !

it feels so long since i've really felt carefree. i miss you.

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running away.
hey world.

on saturday had pottery in the morning. went without siti cos she said she was goin straight, so before that went to see d&t tchr to take some papers. went for pottery, got started on my mug. haha, pottery is fun okeh. [x so after that left at 12 and met momo at the bustop. was gonna catch the movie at 12.30 but we were late thanks to the 293. so instead caught the movie at 2.15 or sumtin. hahahah i tell you the movie damn funny. 'the hottie & the nottie'. haha. :D


so bby was still kinda sick and i felt so bad seeing him. after the movie went back to his place, ate there and watched 'flood' with him, adek and mama. movie after movie. hoho. then went back home alone cause mama , papa and nana were back from johor. so yeah. they bought some dvds there, so at night watched 'the orphanage'. the show was in spanish and all the more its scary.

i tell you that show is friggin scary and i couldnt sleep until 3am. well, apart from the fucking fight i had with iqah which was just so pointless which led to my friggin puffy eyes this morning. thankfully my babyboy was there for me, telling me to stop crying and blablabla. oh and minus the part where he scares me and tells me there's something behind me lah. -.-"

Sunday.
woke up early, around 8. with puffy eyes like pillows. -.- showered, and walked to the gym alone. got there, texted bby and started workin out. in between siti texted me and im sorry that i didnt tell you. i presumed you already had plans. well anyway. cause of the fight yesterday i was obviously so pumped and drained out my energy and turning it into positive energy by working out. yay. after that went home and tried to study while chatting wit bby. but,
instead after hanging up i fell asleep instead until about 2. hahahahaha.

then had lunch, and watched 'the water horse' with the family. yes, laugh if you want to. the movie was kinda sad, actually. hahahahah. and now mama, papa and nana headed for east coast and because me and iqah didnt wanna follow, mama is acting fuckingly and so perangai buadak-budak.

okeh i guess that's all. bby's getting his bursary award today. wee im proud of him. kay toodles noodles. guess i'll be staying in and continue my movie marathon.

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